Valentine’s Day

During the week, I sometimes catch a ride into the city with my dad to get to work. It is a cheaper alternative to taking the train in, in addition to being much more comfortable. The one downside is the talk show he listens to. Every single day, I’m disgusted, bothered, enraged… Seething! There were two topics discussed today that upset me. One was that he believes global warming isn’t real. And secondly, that it is ridiculous to expect kids to give out Valentines to all their classmates.

I don’t know about you, but I loved Valentine’s Day when I was younger. I was always excited to pick out which set of cards I would be giving out to my classmates, I enjoyed filling them out and making my little heart shaped envelope to receive others’ cards in. The candy! The fact that everyone was included, and that was never even a question. I don’t believe I ever once said, “oh, I don’t like this person, I’m not going to give them a Valentine.” Coming home with an envelope full of cards from my friends and classmates, hyped up on sugar is such a fond memory.

Jeff Kuhner, host of the Kuhner Report on WRKO in Boston, decided to devote a half hour to this concept today, and his disgust at it. He believes children should be able to choose who they give Valentines to. He laughed at the suggestion that giving everyone a card would make for no hurt feelings. He LAUGHED at the class scapegoat, the child with no friends, the child that is constantly picked on. I mean, come on.

He cited an instance in I believe Texas, where a child was sent home with a letter from the teacher instructing that each child should bring in enough Valentines for their entire classroom. The number of children in this example’s classroom? 16. Most of those Valentine card sets come with 20-25. AT LEAST. People must really love to have so many leftover cards, if they are complaining about having to include everyone.

He then went on to state that because of this policy, kids are being coddled and eventually kill themselves due to rejection. Yup. He said that.

While teen suicide is a disturbing, rising trend in this country, I don’t agree that it is because children are being coddled. I think a major factor is growing up and constantly feeling belittled, left out, and different. Children deserve love, attention, and compassion.

I think back to my time in kindergarten and elementary school. I think as a young child, I would have been totally crushed if people deliberately didn’t give me cards. I know it sounds silly now, but growing up is hard. Valentines Day wasn’t about the commercialization of roses, passion, and romance. It was about having a day where everyone came together to celebrate candy, friendship, and each other.

It is disgusting that an individual thinks that it’s okay to leave certain children out.

Instead, this should provide a great lesson for teachers and parents to teach their kids. How would you feel if your envelope was empty? It all leads back to the Golden Rule- Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you. Treat others how you would want to be treated.

If you teach that at a young age, it will greatly benefit your children. I know that it is constantly being said in my mind when I see someone I perceive to be strange or weird. You just never know what battles another person is facing.

4 thoughts on “Valentine’s Day

  1. I agree with you! I think giving out Valentine’s to everyone is a great exercise in thinking about positive characteristics in each classmate, if they are personalized with a little message. Everyone has their own strengths to add to the world, so I think recognizing that is an important lesson.

    Also, anyone who is actually educated about suicidal behavior would know that people do not typically kill themselves over one single event. The feeling builds over time. It’s an aggregate of many different experiences. Why purposefully begin such experiences at such a young, vulnerable age?

  2. As a kindergarten teacher, I firmly believe that you should either make a card for everyone. If it’s too expensive to buy a pack, spend the time with your child making hand-made cards- even if it’s just with a crayon and piece of paper. The students enjoy the sentiment, and crave the love. I think we should teach our children to love everyone, and that everyone in the world deserves special cards and attention. This isn’t coddling, it’s teaching them to be decent human beings who care about people and contributing to their society.

  3. I totally agree with you! At the preschool I work all of the teachers discussed what our main rules should be for every classroom regarding Valentine’s day. Either you give a card to everyone or you don’t at all, it’s totally the parent’s and children’s choice whether they will make them or not.

    We even said that they should NOT be addressed just in case a parent forgets to write a child’s name or misplaces one. This way no one can be left out for sure.

    Valentine’s day is a wonderful time to remind friends and family that we are all connected!

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