It’s that time of year again. The clocks have been put back, it is dark at 4pm, and the weather is getting colder by the day. When I say I hate this time of year, I truly mean it. Not only am I a child when it comes to the cold, I also struggle with Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD).

Like clockwork every year, Daylight Savings Time ends and I’m slumped into a deep depression. I don’t really understand it and for a few years, it really dragged me down. It was such a relief when I finally had a reason for what was happening to me. It really dragged me down in college.

One year, I fought with my boyfriend so much, really horrible fights, and I would just cry. Every day. I had no idea why and this really aggravated him. For someone on the outside looking in at mental illness, it doesn’t make any sense. I think the worst part for him was that he couldn’t fix it. He is a man, after all, and they say that they think of things in terms of problems and solutions. When there is no definitive problem, how can there be a solution? There were times I would stay over at his apartment and cry myself to sleep. I really had no clue what was going on.

The following year, I decided to get some help in the form of medication. It worked wonders. My mind was finally clear. I have been taking medication every winter since. This year, I have decided to be even more proactive in my health by eating better, sleeping well, and exercising a lot. I can’t even begin to tell you what a difference it makes. A few years ago, I was drowning in the darkness. I could barely get out of bed, and sometimes didn’t. It’s such a relief to not feel that way anymore. When November rolled around this year, I called up my doctor and immediately started up again with the medication. A month later, I am feeling great. Of course, the exercise and healthier diet is definitely helping. I am proud of myself for controlling it, instead of letting it control me. 

It feels great to be in control of my own life. I’m not saying that every day is rainbows and unicorns- far from it. I still have my moments. Last year, even though I was on medication, my job was sucking the life out of me. I would cry in the car on the way home every night. I feel that over the past year, I have really grown as a person and a woman from that experience. I know more of what I want out of life, and I’m not going to stand idly by waiting for it to come to me. As I’ve said before, I quit the job and it was one of the best decisions I have ever made.

For anyone that is feeling alone, sad, depressed… I have been there. And some days, I’m still there! Happiness is something that you just have to work at sometimes. It’s hard when you feel like you don’t have the energy to fight. But it gets better! It is seriously worth looking at all your options, even if do not want to take medication. Eating better is a great place to start. I am all about chocolate and junk food. Sugar is my vice. So, instead of that candy bar as a snack, I’ll eat some fruit. I still get my sugar =)

And if you are out of shape, like me, exercise seems daunting but I assure you, it’s not! Even if you just go for a walk on your lunch break- do it! I joined the gym at my work (and paid an arm and a leg for it for two months) but I find myself wanting to go every single day. I never thought I would be able to run. Walking up the stairs sometimes takes my breath away. But guess what!? I ran a mile at the gym today. A mile! It may not seem like that big of a deal, but I assure you that it is. And you know what? It felt good. If I can do it, anyone can. Seriously.

One last piece of advice (which will probably turn into its own blog post because I have so much to write about it!) is to try yoga. You can Google some great positions and start with the basics. This is my absolute favorite thing to do, and I will try my best to write a post in the next few days highlighting some of my favorite moves. The sense of calm that it gives you is indescribable. Working on your core is more of a workout than you think and the health benefits are out of this world!

Depression can (and does) affect just about anybody. It is important to recognize the signs in others, as well as yourself. At the end of the day, you are alone with you. Why not do everything in your power to love yourself enough to take action? I’m so happy that I did.