I am not used to being the stable one. I can be pretty emotional and definitely oversensitive. This isn’t necessarily a flaw in my eyes, but I have been learning to develop a tougher skin thanks to the “real world” and my boyfriend’s no-nonsense attitude. This attitude has been hard for me to accept at times because I just want someone to listen to me cry and complain. His homage, “that’s life”, stings a lot.

After a second time taking the test to become a Massachusetts Certified Arborist, my boyfriend failed by just THREE points. When I got the text from him yesterday, my heart sank for him. When he followed it up with another text, “I just want to cry”, I wanted to rush home from work and be there for him. But how? He studied much more this second time around, he learned all the Latin names for pretty much every tree in existence, and his confidence was much higher. How can I possibly make him feel better?

What I know is this- he is not a great test taker, never has been. His undiagnosed ADD can get pretty bad, which makes him stress out more than he needs to. I know he is incredibly smart. He knows more than probably half of the people who have their MCA. His friends that have their MCA ask him questions all the time about trees. He is the go-to guy for so many people in terms of trees and their health. He deserves this recognition. Instead, he has to watch as his coworkers- who went to school for anything from environmental studies to english (yes, english)- receive their MCAs because they are better studiers and test takers. Will they be able to apply this knowledge to everyday use? Most likely not. And that’s the part that hurts me the most because I know it hurts him the most.

I could see in his eyes how sad he was. It sucks to work so hard for something- especially something that is your future career path- only to fail. Luckily, being a certified arborist is not something he absolutely needs to get his dream job. He clearly has the skills and knowledge. I am obviously biased, but I don’t think having a piece of paper shows your true value. It’s ridiculous that this test is only offered every six months. His hard work feels like it was for nothing.

I gave up my movie date night last night for a quiet night in front of the television snuggling. He picked the restaurant we ate at and I tried to cheer him up as much as possible. If the roles were reversed, I’m not quite sure how he would have handled me. But I go with what I know, and I know what makes me feel better in times of failure and rejection. I like to have a low-key night, and I like to cuddle up in bed with my favorite person in the world and laugh at stupid things. I told him that I thought he was the smartest person I know and it’s one of the many reasons I love him. He has such an expansive knowledge of nature and science, one I have never and probably will never have. It’s shocking how well this compliment was received.

Sometimes we think so highly of others but never really tell them. I clearly think very highly of him but it’s not very often that I say it. A good compliment can really brighten a person’s day, especially when they are feeling so down about themselves.

When you fail, it can feel like your whole life is a joke. There are so many cliches to be said about this. But sometimes, cliches are exactly what you need to hear. When I was having a hard time my freshman year of college, I sent an email to my dad telling him how I was feeling. It was towards the end of the year and I had decided to start talking to someone at the school (which ended up being a great resource in my four years there). I remember my father’s response and it sticks with me to this day-

“Behind every cloud, the sun is still shining.”

And indeed, the sun is out and shining today. =)