Pasta Salad

May 20, 2014 | tallmoll4

I’m not going to lie. Any meal you can prepare and eat all week is a gift. And if it’s easily prepared? Bonus!

My boyfriend’s mom from time to time whips up some great dishes that are a fall back all week when you don’t feel like creating a whole dinner, if you’re running late in the morning and need to put together a quick lunch, or for a snack on the weekends when you are watching marathons of Say Yes to the Dress. Ahem. We don’t do that or anything……..

I was never much of a fan of leftovers, for whatever reason. My mom makes killer mashed potatoes but I would not eat them leftover. They aren’t the same!!!! I promise, I’m growing up, Mom! Anything that makes my life easier is a-okay in my book now.

So one of my favorite things that my boyfriend’s mom makes is her pasta salad. She changes up the dressing she uses quite often, but her latest concoction has been my favorite! Seriously, I shovel this stuff…

And it’s so easy!!! Keep reading for the yummy recipe!

Continue reading →

Update on my Candy-free Month

May 13, 2014 | tallmoll4

It is now the 13th of May. That is 13 days without candy. Am I almost halfway through the month????

Still going strong!!! Well, sort of.

“Detoxing” my body of all the sugar and candy was interesting, to say the least. I felt like crap the first few days!!! But I guess that’s how you should feel when you are literally clearing your body of months worth of, well, crap.

The hardest times of the day for me are in the middle of the afternoon, and at night a couple hours after dinner. I’ve been trying to bring fruit every day to work to eat in the afternoon between lunch and going home. This is helping, but we are currently almost out of fruit at the house, so it’s slim pickings. And at night, when my boyfriend’s mom pulls out her giant 5 lb bag of gummy bears, I hide under a blanket in the corner. I don’t really even like gummy bears!!!! It’s the fact that I can’t have any that makes me really want them.

Yes, I’m at the point in this experiment where I am psychologically analyzing myself.

I read an interesting (albeit a little silly) article yesterday about some new diet trend that involves tapping your face. No, I’m not kidding. While the process leaves me extremely skeptical, there are a couple of tidbits I took away.

The number one ruiner of dieting plans is emotional eating. This is stating the obvious. But really, who isn’t guilty of this? Candy, particularly chocolate, is my go-to when I’m stressed. I think it’s because I associate it with being a carefree kid, with a super fast metabolism. Well, my metabolism is now slow as molasses and I was consuming candy like I was still 12.

I also like the part of the article that states that telling yourself that you’re fat isn’t going to help. You really have to get to the root of it. I’m fat because xyz. Now what’s your plan to fix it?

I’m overweight because I eat a lot of candy, and junk food in general, without any limitations. Because I have a control issue, I need to cut things out of my diet one by one, not all at once. And it has to be cold turkey.

Really, in all honesty, I hate calling myself fat. I’m not skinny, by any means. But the word fat is harsh, and it really bothers me when I hear my close friends and people I care about constantly calling themselves fat. So why would I, in turn, call myself fat?

I’m all about owning up to your flaws and conquering them. Isn’t that what this experiment is all about? But let’s do it in a happy and healthy way! Every day that I go without eating candy, I feel better and better. Sure, I see some delicious chocolate sitting on the desk at home and every once in a while, I look at it just a bit longer than a second. Old habits die hard.

It’s not like I will never eat candy again. I just need to get out of the habit of eating it whenever I’m stressed. And let’s face it, as a 20something in an unstable economy and job market, I’m stressed every day!

Willpower: An Experiment

May 2, 2014 | tallmoll4

Easter is one of my favorite holidays. Why? The candy.

Every year, they start selling the candy earlier and earlier. I have this weird mentality that I need to eat all the candy because it is only available for a short amount of time. I know, it is ridiculous.

As I’ve gotten older, it has naturally become harder for me to gorge on Cadbury eggs. This is a sad fact of growing up.

This year, especially, I found it really weighing me down. I love candy- particularly chocolate- but I’m just not liking how it makes me feel anymore! When did I become an adult?

So I decided to try a little experiment. I am giving up candy for the month of May. When I told my best friend this past weekend, she gasped and was like, “…….how? I have to have at least a piece of chocolate every day to sustain!” (this is why we’re best friends)

I just want to feel better. The majority of junk I put into my body is typically candy. And every year around Easter, I feel this same crappy feeling. So why not try to remedy it?

And it terms of quitting cold turkey, there is no other way I could do it. The problem with me is that I can’t simply eat one piece. That’s just not even in my vocabulary.

Amirite?

Reason #2? My boyfriend doesn’t think I can do it. As I was eating a few chocolate eggs one night a few weeks ago, I told him my plan and he straight-up laughed. I’ll believe it when I see it, he said. And then he was like, why wait until May, why not start now?

Now it was my turn to laugh.

Ummmm…. because Easter hasn’t happened yet and all this delicious candy needs to be had?!!!? (yes seriously, that was my excuse)

So here it is, May 1st! I had my swan song last night when I ate one last handful of m&ms. This time, my boyfriend was a little more supportive. I still think he’s skeptical but I can’t make him believe it until he sees it!

My first day candy-free is almost over. I can say that I haven’t found myself craving it. So maybe I don’t really have a problem? Just kidding.

Let’s do this!!!!!!

My first stitch fix

April 25, 2014 | tallmoll4

I love getting packages in the mail. It feels like Christmas morning. When I was away at college my freshman year, I had a really difficult time adjusting. My mom used to sleep with her cell phone next to her, in case I called in the middle of the night, crying.

Because I was having such a hard time, my mom would send me care packages with little surprises. I would seriously cry tears of joy when I opened them. The contents never ceased to amaze me. Spring Oreos, a Cinderella wand that lit up and made noise, a pack of High School Musical trading cards… Little pick-me-ups that really helped me survive my freshman year. It made me feel special.

Monthly boxes are all the rage right now. And because there are soooo many that I want to subscribe to, I subscribe to zero. I can’t choose. That doesn’t stop them from emailing me every month offering me a “free box”. Temptation is a killer sometimes…

So, when I first heard of Stitch Fix, my curiosity was piqued. I found out about it through one of my new favorite blogs, A Sorta Fairytale, and I shared the idea with my friends on our endless Facebook thread. We were all giddy at the idea.

This is how it works…

You fill out a ten minute survey on their site, detailing as much as possible about yourself and your style. You give them your size, set your preferences for colors, patterns, and items of clothing, etc. My best friend was on the phone with me while she took her quiz, asking me for my opinion about how she should fill everything out. (This is especially fun if you do it with a bunch of girlfriends!!!!)
You schedule your first fix. There is a $20 styling fee for the box. If you choose to keep anything in the box, this $20 goes toward that. If not, they have to make their money somehow! I don’t fault them for this.
A box (seriously soooo cutely wrapped and decorated) arrives at your doorstep with 5 items that your stylist thought would look great on you.
You have three days to decide what you want to keep and what you don’t. They give you a prepaid envelope to send all unwanted items back in.
If you keep all 5, you get 25% off your order!
You fill out another survey online, detailing what you thought about each piece.

It’s a really simple and fun process. And the best part is that you get items that you would never pick out for yourself!

Here is what was in my box:

Item 1: This asymmetrical striped blazer. I was very unsure about this when I pulled it out of the box. It seemed really short and the zipper off to the side was strange to me. I think the asymmetrical can only be pulled off by certain body types, and I just do not have one of those. I decided against this piece. I had a difficult time zipping the jacket up past my left boob! #bigchestedgirlproblems

Item #2: a tribal-print tank top. I loved this one. I never, in a million years, would have picked out a pattern like this. It was very fun. It would look awesome with a cardigan for work, or paired with shorts and flip flops in the summer. The material was soft and comfortable and it was very well made. I decided against it, in the end, because it was a little too much money for a tank top. I liked a couple of the other pieces more.

Item #3: Grey striped dolman top. LOVE. Everything about this top is perfect. The length is amazing. The way the bottom of it is cut, it elongates and creates a thinner illusion. The material is out of this world. I have owned a couple shirts like this in the past from Old Navy, and they disintegrate pretty quickly. I can tell this one will not do that. I kept this. I pretty much wore it all weekend.

Item #4: A pink/coral colorblock shift dress. If you know me, you know I love pink. I did not give this away in my survey. I left all color options open, even though I’m not really a fan of green. I was so skeptical when I pulled this out of the box. I am aware of shift dresses, but I really didn’t think it would work with my body. I WAS WRONG! This dress is amazing. My boyfriend and his mom both gave it two thumbs up. You can tell I love it by the smile on my face. I am all about this dress. And it’s fully lined! A++++++++.

Item #5: The necklace I’m wearing here. I forgot to get a close-up shot of it. I loved this necklace, but I didn’t think it was worth it. It was super long, so you could wrap it around a couple of times. I just didn’t think it made enough of a statement.

My best friend and I were like kids in a candy shop when our boxes arrived. She got hers first and we spent a great deal of time on the phone analyzing each item. She ended up getting all 5!

I’m no authority when it comes to monthly boxes. My paycheck won’t allow for it. Trust me, if they did, I have a list of about 20 that I want to try! You can get a Stitch Fix as frequently or as infrequently as you want. It is super easy and it will for sure brighten your day!

My boyfriend thinks this is perfect for his mother, who spends hours shopping online and never finds anything. Sometimes it is easier to have other people pick things out for you. I call it “passive shopping”.

Check it out!!!!

Mexico Part III

April 8, 2014 | tallmoll4

I know, I know, it’s been a while.

If you missed the previous posts, click here and here.

After an even more terrifying trip back to Playa, we decided to take it easy for the rest of the day. I kid you not, we had a siesta every day we were there and it was fantastic! We decided to walk up and down 5th Avenue, which is the main drag there in town. We did some shopping, we went down to check out the beach, and we got some lunch and drinks.

We clearly enjoyed all the food down there. I think we cleaned our plates at every meal!

The next day, we decided to have a beach day. We grabbed our towels and headed down to a beach club, which was a five minute walk away. As I am very pale and afraid of burning, we rented an umbrella with our chairs. More drinks! They were so cheap at this beach and it was great to sit back and relax, while drinks are served. Delicious!!!

We didn’t have much planned for this vacation, which was very difficult for me. I like to have things lined up. Our only activities booked were the jungle spa and a fishing charter. Unfortunately, due to high winds, the port was closed and our charter was cancelled. There was no available time to reschedule. Needless to say, my boyfriend was devastated. This was the one thing he wanted to do on vacation. I felt really sad for him.

To make up for it (as best I could, anyway) I planned a day for us to go to see some Mayan ruins in Tulum. It did NOT disappoint!

Tulum was one of the last built and inhabited cities of the Mayans. It was active for a couple of centuries, with as many as 1,600 people living there at one time. The thing that sets Tulum apart from other popular ruins in Mexico is that it is situated on the sea. This made it a very important port at the time, and is probably a big reason it stayed inhabited for so long.

You can no longer climb or go in any of the structures, but as it is a city, it is a great place to walk around and absorb the history and heritage. Expansive is the word I would use. You climb up and up, seeing more and more of the ocean as you climb. The views are truly spectacular.

Overall, it was a great day. We made the most of it, even if we were a little disappointed about the fishing trip. It was great to go somewhere so rich with history and culture. After seeing the ruins, we ventured into the village where there were shops and restaurants set up. The food was incredible. As we had a while to kill before our bus ride back, we found a small hole-in-the-wall bar where we sat for a drink and talked with the bartender. With his limited English and our limited Spanish, it made for some interesting conversation. At one point, a small cat appeared. This was the first cat we had encountered down there that actually wanted attention. She was the sweetest thing! The bartender explained to us that he has no idea where the cat comes from or goes to, but it visits him every afternoon for dinner. He took an empty ashtray and poured some milk in it for the cat, who happily lapped it up. I could tell he had quite the fondness for this cat. She liked to play and mess around with him, darting underneath his legs and hiding behind cabinets. He was so patient with her! I was sad to say goodbye.

And just like that, our vacation was over! We went to our favorite restaurant down there, Yo Amo Tacos, for dinner. It was the only place we went to twice! The chicken tacos were out of this world. The couple sitting in front of us was from Germany, and the gentleman had only been drunk one other time in his life! It was hilarious to watch the waitress bring him a few tequila shots, and to see this guy become sillier and sillier as the night went on.

We were up bright and early the next day to head to the airport.

I tweeted and Facebooked this message that I think perfectly summed up our time there-

“Bye bye Mexico. We will miss your warm sunshine, out-of-this-world food, margaritas before noon, and the lively street culture. We hope to see you again soon!”

We saw so much but there is SO MUCH more we would like to see! Can’t wait to go back.

Thanks for reading!

Mexico Recap Part Dos!

March 27, 2014 | tallmoll4

If you missed the first part, click here. I quickly recapped our decision process and our exciting trip down there.

We went to bed that first night relatively early, exhausted from a day’s worth of travelling. The next morning, we were up bright and early for our trip to the Jungle Spa in Puerto Morelos. Being our first time in Mexico, we were completely naive when it came to how long the ADO bus trip would be. I researched before leaving and wrote down a list of possible departure times. The site said it would be about 45 minutes by bus. I mean, as far as I could tell anyway. The whole website was in Spanish. I was in communication with the owner of the spa, Sandra, and she advised to take a taxi once we got to Puerto Morelos, from the bus station through town to the jungle spa. My dear, sweet boyfriend figured we would be able to walk back to the bus station after our massages. Again, naive. =)

The bus dropped us off in the outskirts of the town. It wasn’t exactly tourist-friendly. This sort of thing usually puts me on edge, but I very much tried to let go of any worries I had to really enjoy and appreciate the experience. We negotiated a cheap taxi ride to the jungle and we were off. We drove through neighbors that you would see in movies, little tin huts with barred windows, vehicles sitting with missing tires, stray dogs laying in the street… I could feel my boyfriend’s eyes staring at me and thinking, what the heck have you gotten us into!!? We then turning onto a dirt road and drove into the jungle. All that was there to indicate that we had arrived was a tiny handpainted sign that read JUNGLE SPA. After paying our cab driver, he drove away and we looked around. It was hard to tell how to enter this place! We were then greeted by several dogs, and we made our way in through the gate. It was there that we encountered a man who guided us to the main palapa (sort of like this). It was there that we realized we were almost an hour early. Whoops!!!! Guess that trip was much shorter than we had anticipated…

Once the other scheduled appointments arrived, we heard the story from Sandra about how the Jungle Spa came to be. It really is an incredible story. I don’t want to reveal too much, because I know she really enjoys telling the story to all the new people that come. But here are the Spark Notes:

Her and her husband are originally from Ohio. She studied Community Tourism and really enjoyed Mexico. They originally built the infrastructure for a cenote, before they became a big tourist draw down there. Through a series of unfortunate events, they lost the cenote and she decided to set up a market with some Mayan women, so they could showcase and sell their crafts. After learning that the Mayans give massages to those who are sick, Sandra thought it would be a great way for these women to make money. She bought a small piece of land in the jungle, and her and the women went in with machetes, cut down some trees, and built the structures that are there today!

So they decided to blend their practices with the traditional massages you can get in any spa and they customize them based on any problem areas you may be having. For example, my boyfriend told them he was a forester, so he is always walking around and looking up at trees. They focused on his neck and shoulders. I sit at a desk all day, so they focused on my shoulders, back, and thighs. My boyfriend got an hour and a half massage, and I opted for the hour massage with a half hour chocolate massage after.

We were taken to the same palapa but there was a partition in between us. We actually didn’t realize we were in the same hut until the end!!! I can only speak from my experiences from this point forward.

My masseuse instructed me to take my clothes off and lay on the concrete (not kidding) bed with a tiny towel. I managed to get it to cover the essential parts of my body, but that’s about it! As this was my first time ever getting a massage, I just went with the flow. My mother raised me to not get embarassed in these situations as I “will never see these people again“. I was massaged literally from head to toe. Only part of my body that she didn’t touch were my private parts. Any place she found any knots, she spent extra time on. I’d be lying if I said parts of it didn’t hurt. But afterwards, it felt like that part of my body was woken up and re-energized.

Once I had been massaged from head to toe, front and back side of me, she pulled my towel off of me. Yes, at this point I was stark naked. The only thing she used to cover me up was a small towel in my butt crack. Good thing I’m semi-okay with my body????? The chocolate part of my massage consisted of being covered head to toe (again) in the seeds of the cacao, which is used to make chocolate. It was very grainy, which made it a great exfoliator. After she covered the back side of me with chocolate, she covered me with giant banana leaves and left me for ten minutes. Ten minutes was an excrutiatingly long time to be left naked covered in chocolate and leaves, naked, in the middle of the jungle. Couldn’t really complain too much though, because the smell was amazing. Once she came back, she wiped all the chocolate away with a warm towel and then instructed me to flip over onto my back. Again, naked. She put a leaf over each boob and my private parts, and got to work covering the front side of me with more chocolate. After she finished and covered me with more leaves, she again left me alone for 10 minutes. It was at this point that I realized my boyfriend was in the same palapa as me the whole time. He popped his head in once his massage was finished, and saw me lying on the table covered in chocolate in leaves. We had a good laugh. I wish he had gotten a picture!!!

I have to say… It was an incredible experience. Neither of us had ever had a massage before, so we can’t really compare it to much. But we both agreed that we never slept better in our lives than we did that night. And my skin is the softest it has ever been. Side note to my lady readers: for whatever reason through the exfoliating process, it left my legs sooo smooth! I didn’t have to shave them once while I was down there, and it wasn’t until the last day (5 days later) that I felt even a hint of stubble. Amazing!!!!!! Pretty much any other tourists we encountered down there, we shared our experience with and told them that it was a must. I am sure a massage on the beach is fantastic and relaxing. And I’m sure they do an awesome job! But you can get one of those anywhere. I could get one at the Cape this summer if I wanted. This was truly unique, and it made us feel good knowing we were contributing to their lives and heritage.

This post ended up being a lot longer than I had first anticipated, so I’m going to end it here and make this a trilogy recap! Thanks for reading!!!

Don’t forget to like my Facebook page for updates! =)

Mexico!!! Part One

March 21, 2014 | tallmoll4

It’s been a while since I’ve posted, but I have been super busy! I wanted to share a recap of my fabulous trip to Mexico.

I’ve only flown one other time before, and that was to Disney World with my best friend when I was 18. It is a trip that will literally live in infamy for us. After stuffing my face with eggs and fruit for breakfast, we were up in the air. Since the flight was so early, we decided to get some shut-eye. Well, I woke up mid-turbulence and before I could process the nausea I was experiencing, up my breakfast came. All over the window, myself, and the people in front of us. My friend’s dad desperately tried to get a stewardess to bring me some paper towels and water, but they couldn’t remove their seatbelts because of the turbulence. I had to sit in my throw up for minutes. Meanwhile, my friend awoke from her nap in a groggy state and didn’t realize right away that I was covered in my breakfast. Like any true best friend, she helped me wash my clothes off in the bathtub once we checked into our hotel.

So it’s been six years since I’ve flown. Not necessarily because I didn’t want to (college and life got in the way) but I have always been a bit fearful about my next trip into the skies. When my boyfriend asked me at Christmas last year if we could go on vacation, I immediately had flashbacks to my trip to Disney. When we finally settled on Playa del Carmen in Mexico, I knew I would need to take some precautions this time around. I’m pleased to announce that I had no throwing up incidents on this trip! Phew! I did not eat before our 7am flight and just remained calm with some water and juice. Easy, breezy.

Once in Mexico, Cancun International Airport was a zoo! We, luckily, breezed right through customs and were released into the shark-tank filled with solicitors. Time shares, nightclubs, drug dealers, all swarming. Once outside waiting for our shuttle, we were pleasantly greeted by a man selling beers for $1. Yes, please. We sipped our beers for our 35 minute drive from the airport to the hotel. Our home for the next six days was Hotel Lunata.

Courtesy of Hotel Lunata

I came across this place while booking our trip via Expedia and it had some of the best reviews that I have read on that site. It was very no-frills, understated, and authentic. I was obsessed. Plus, take a look at that shower! Gah!

Courtesy of Hotel Lunata

The hotel is situated right in the heart of Playa, on the famous 5th Avenue. Shops, bars and restaurants abound! It was so fun wandering up and down the street, checking out all the little shops and experiencing the lively culture. Plus, our room had a balcony overlooking the street, which was fantastic for people watching. If we are ever lucky enough to go back, we would gladly stay there again.

A lot went into the decision process for where to go. We both made lists of musts. Well, let me rephrase. Mine had musts, my boyfriend’s just had one must. We must be able to go fishing. WELL! That didn’t help me out much. I did hours upon hours of research (seriously) before coming to the conclusion that it would be Playa del Carmen in Mexico. We decided we didn’t want to do all-inclusive for a number of reasons. The biggest being that we wanted freedom, and to be able to spend the money on experiences, not an all-inclusive package of mediocre food and drinks. Playa is like the college-graduate version of Cancun. There are still wild bars and parties, but the crowds are just a bit older and more mature. We weren’t looking to do any hard partying, but it was nice to know that we could find it close by.

After traveling all day, we had a nice dinner a couple of blocks down and turned in early. We had an appointment scheduled the next day at the Jungle Spa that we needed to be up for…

Stay tuned for my “part two” of the recap where I talk about my butt-naked chocolate massage, our doomed fishing charter, and some Mayan ruins! =)

Reflections on Life and Depression

December 4, 2013 | tallmoll4

It’s that time of year again. The clocks have been put back, it is dark at 4pm, and the weather is getting colder by the day. When I say I hate this time of year, I truly mean it. Not only am I a child when it comes to the cold, I also struggle with Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD).

Like clockwork every year, Daylight Savings Time ends and I’m slumped into a deep depression. I don’t really understand it and for a few years, it really dragged me down. It was such a relief when I finally had a reason for what was happening to me. It really dragged me down in college.

One year, I fought with my boyfriend so much, really horrible fights, and I would just cry. Every day. I had no idea why and this really aggravated him. For someone on the outside looking in at mental illness, it doesn’t make any sense. I think the worst part for him was that he couldn’t fix it. He is a man, after all, and they say that they think of things in terms of problems and solutions. When there is no definitive problem, how can there be a solution? There were times I would stay over at his apartment and cry myself to sleep. I really had no clue what was going on.

The following year, I decided to get some help in the form of medication. It worked wonders. My mind was finally clear. I have been taking medication every winter since. This year, I have decided to be even more proactive in my health by eating better, sleeping well, and exercising a lot. I can’t even begin to tell you what a difference it makes. A few years ago, I was drowning in the darkness. I could barely get out of bed, and sometimes didn’t. It’s such a relief to not feel that way anymore. When November rolled around this year, I called up my doctor and immediately started up again with the medication. A month later, I am feeling great. Of course, the exercise and healthier diet is definitely helping. I am proud of myself for controlling it, instead of letting it control me.

It feels great to be in control of my own life. I’m not saying that every day is rainbows and unicorns- far from it. I still have my moments. Last year, even though I was on medication, my job was sucking the life out of me. I would cry in the car on the way home every night. I feel that over the past year, I have really grown as a person and a woman from that experience. I know more of what I want out of life, and I’m not going to stand idly by waiting for it to come to me. As I’ve said before, I quit the job and it was one of the best decisions I have ever made.

For anyone that is feeling alone, sad, depressed… I have been there. And some days, I’m still there! Happiness is something that you just have to work at sometimes. It’s hard when you feel like you don’t have the energy to fight. But it gets better! It is seriously worth looking at all your options, even if do not want to take medication. Eating better is a great place to start. I am all about chocolate and junk food. Sugar is my vice. So, instead of that candy bar as a snack, I’ll eat some fruit. I still get my sugar =)

And if you are out of shape, like me, exercise seems daunting but I assure you, it’s not! Even if you just go for a walk on your lunch break- do it! I joined the gym at my work (and paid an arm and a leg for it for two months) but I find myself wanting to go every single day. I never thought I would be able to run. Walking up the stairs sometimes takes my breath away. But guess what!? I ran a mile at the gym today. A mile! It may not seem like that big of a deal, but I assure you that it is. And you know what? It felt good. If I can do it, anyone can. Seriously.

One last piece of advice (which will probably turn into its own blog post because I have so much to write about it!) is to try yoga. You can Google some great positions and start with the basics. This is my absolute favorite thing to do, and I will try my best to write a post in the next few days highlighting some of my favorite moves. The sense of calm that it gives you is indescribable. Working on your core is more of a workout than you think and the health benefits are out of this world!

Depression can (and does) affect just about anybody. It is important to recognize the signs in others, as well as yourself. At the end of the day, you are alone with you. Why not do everything in your power to love yourself enough to take action? I’m so happy that I did.

Good News Monday

August 12, 2013 | tallmoll4

I started this blog to create a bright spot in my life- to cheer myself up despite the bummer life I was leading. Good News Monday was an idea by my mother, who was sick of hearing about everything that is wrong with the world. Why can’t we hear more of what is right?

I took a brief break from the blog to refocus my energy on finding a new job. I had convinced myself that the job I was at was toxic and it was time to leave. I’m not a quitter and I didn’t exactly want to leave my first job out of college after less than a year. I kept telling myself something else would come along eventually, and to just sit tight. However, it became painfully evident that this job was ruining me. I grew up with my mom always telling me to use my words. Confrontation has never been my strong suit and I’m not particularly used to fighting for myself and my well-being.

My previous supervisor was constantly putting me down. The power trip that girl was on was outrageous. I’m an emotional person, sure. But there were many days that I would leave there crying. If I didn’t cry on the way home, I would cry in my bed, while my boyfriend sat there helplessly. I can’t even begin to tell you the strain it put on our relationship. Men are born problem solvers. It is their natural reaction to fix it when they see someone they care about in pain. This situation I was in, however, was not fixable, at least by him. I knew that if I wanted to be happy, I had to remove any negativity I could. Therefore, I intensified my job search, I put the feelers out to everyone I knew and was applying like crazy.

When I came across my current job on LinkedIn, I knew it was a long shot. It seemed too good to be true that I could find something so perfect. But I said, why the heck not, and applied anyway. I literally heard back within an hour and scheduled a phone interview that same day. The phone interview went well and I was almost immediately introduced to my future boss over lunch. I wanted this more than I had wanted any job previously. I knew this was my ticket out of a nightmare and into my dream career. The day that I received an official offer, I quit my job. While initially, my decision to leave left everyone on cordial terms, it quickly turned sour and I was threatened with my last paycheck and accrued vacation time. That’s a different story for a different day…

I drove away from my last day of work crying, but for the first time, they were happy tears. I was finally free. I promised myself that I would no longer subject myself to that type of bullying again. “You took thirty-FIVE minutes for lunch?”, “The shipping boxes have crease in the tape. You need to be more careful.”, “I sacrificed myself for you and I will never do it again.”, “While you were sick yesterday, I had to do ALL your work, and my own, why didn’t you answer my call?” (oh sorry, I was having a colonoscopy, stemming from the stomach pain that the stress of this job caused), the list could go on and on. Not to mention, I was made to write daily long reports of each and every thing I did that day, and stay as late as I had to for no additional compensation. The stress of that job made me sick almost every day. I was on four different medications to help me get through the day. I was told I will never have a career in marketing because “it takes hard work”. I was essentially a secretary for a monster and every day, I was never doing enough for the company. They thought I would devote myself to the job, my whole life, my heart and soul. I won’t devote my whole self to a job, with no chance of growth, for $12/hour, especially when it’s not something I want to be doing for the rest of my life. If it was marketing, hell yeah I would have devoted myself to it. If it meant growth, knowledge, and advancement in the future, I will do what I have to do.

Many of the questions I asked myself were:

What’s more important? Relationships or a run-of-the-mill job?
Will staying here a year really help me all that much in my future?
Am I being too emotional?
What is better for my future?

The good news part of all of this is that I am now working at a job that may be mundane, but it the perfect foot in the door for a career in marketing and advertising. Every day, I’m regaining my happiness and I accomplished this all on my own. It’s the most gratifying feeling to know that I make my own happiness, I am in control of my life, and that I have the most supportive people in my life.

I urge anyone in a similar situation to do everything you can, in your power, to get out. I realize this may be more difficult the older you get, and the more responsibility you have. I’m extremely lucky that I’m young, college-educated, with no children to have to worry about currently. It’s okay to be a little selfish. If not now, then when? It makes me sad to think that anyone else would be stuck in the same situation. As someone who grew up being the pushover and the one who always puts others before herself, it’s nice to take the reins back a little bit and put my foot down. It’s liberating!

Thanks for reading. This has been quite the journey and I can’t wait to finally start MY life the way I want it! =)

My Love

April 5, 2013 | tallmoll4

I have been very sick this week. I wish the pain would go away. But alas. I have quite the story to tell!

For Christmas this past year, my boyfriend bought me a beautiful ring. I woke up early Christmas morning to use the bathroom and came back to find the box sitting on my bed waiting.

As a promise ring, it’s not your typical simple diamond ring. I was in complete awe when I opened the box.

The ring is white gold (my favorite!) with a pink tourmaline in the center. On either side of the pink stone are diamonds.

Now let me tell you how pleased I was that this ring was so unique. I do love diamonds, as most girls do. After all, they are a Girl’s Best Friend. However, this was not an engagement ring. The fact that he had enough insight to realize this was shocking to me, although he did have some help. The thought that he put into it is what is most special to me. Pink is is my absolute favorite color. As he well knows, the walls in my room are painted in magenta pink with light pink clouds. My room glows pink. Anytime I buy sheets, he urges me to go for any color other than pink. I think he feels overwhelmed…

It’s so perfect!

When I arrived home a couple weeks ago from work on a beautiful day, I discovered the window was open in my room. After I had settled in, my boyfriend goes, “You realize there is a ring IDENTICAL to the one I gave you sitting in your window?!” He pulled it out and I could hardly believe my eyes.

It has been sitting in my window sill for probably 10 years. The memory of the ring came back to me and I remembered seeing it at Wal Mart and needing it. It wasn’t a hard purchase to make, it was only $8. I wore it for a little while, but as all cheap jewelry does, it turned my finger a disgusting green color. For whatever reason, I put it in my window sill and it has been there ever since.

How perfect is this story? As I have said before, I love love. I never believed that true love would happen to me until I met him. There are plenty of signs that he’s the one.

I knew I loved him when my dad made him eggs one morning. Very runny eggs. They seriously looked gross. (My mom later told me that this is how my dad prefers his eggs, so whaddya know?) My boyfriend sat and ate the entire plate of eggs because he didn’t want to be rude. I watched him struggle down the eggs and with every bite, I became more and more assured that he was The One.

We complement each other perfectly. When we have a bag of Blue Doritos, he likes the “dusty” ones as he calls them. I like the ones with the least amount of “dust”. I can be irrational and he is typically the most rational person I know. I soften him a bit and he hardens me a bit.

I can truthfully say that he is my best friend and one of the best things to ever happen to me.

When we discovered this ring in my window, I knew.