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Old Spice Ramblings

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Is anyone else incredibly uncomfortable with the new Old Spice commercials?

I don’t find them funny, I find them downright creepy. The main premise is that Old Spice makes men smell so good that even their moms are enchanted. The mothers follow their sons around on dates, oftentimes blending into the background, as they sing about how great their sons smell. “You’ve made a sexy man right out of my son” is just one of the lines off the top of my head.

Any mothers out there think their sons smell sexy? Any mothers out there lust over their son’s newfound adulthood and subsequent better hygiene?

Let me pose it this way. If this was a father stalking his daughter on all her dates when she’s wearing the newest and hippest perfume, saying he finds her smell sexy, that would send off red flags, no?

I think they’ve taken it a step too far. Old Spice is known for its marketing campaign involving the shirtless Isaiah Mustafa doing all sorts of ridiculous things, like riding around on a horse on the beach. Why are those funny? It’s no secret that sex sells. But it’s usually women doing the selling. I think they started it off as more of a joke but they quickly learned that it works for men too.

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Parents infatuated with their grown children is not funny. Just saying. And no, I will not link to an example of the commercial. That’s how much I don’t like them.

PS: Sunshine in Between is now on FB! Be sure to like my page to receive updates on posts!

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Valentine’s Day

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During the week, I sometimes catch a ride into the city with my dad to get to work. It is a cheaper alternative to taking the train in, in addition to being much more comfortable. The one downside is the talk show he listens to. Every single day, I’m disgusted, bothered, enraged… Seething! There were two topics discussed today that upset me. One was that he believes global warming isn’t real. And secondly, that it is ridiculous to expect kids to give out Valentines to all their classmates.

I don’t know about you, but I loved Valentine’s Day when I was younger. I was always excited to pick out which set of cards I would be giving out to my classmates, I enjoyed filling them out and making my little heart shaped envelope to receive others’ cards in. The candy! The fact that everyone was included, and that was never even a question. I don’t believe I ever once said, “oh, I don’t like this person, I’m not going to give them a Valentine.” Coming home with an envelope full of cards from my friends and classmates, hyped up on sugar is such a fond memory.

Jeff Kuhner, host of the Kuhner Report on WRKO in Boston, decided to devote a half hour to this concept today, and his disgust at it. He believes children should be able to choose who they give Valentines to. He laughed at the suggestion that giving everyone a card would make for no hurt feelings. He LAUGHED at the class scapegoat, the child with no friends, the child that is constantly picked on. I mean, come on.

He cited an instance in I believe Texas, where a child was sent home with a letter from the teacher instructing that each child should bring in enough Valentines for their entire classroom. The number of children in this example’s classroom? 16. Most of those Valentine card sets come with 20-25. AT LEAST. People must really love to have so many leftover cards, if they are complaining about having to include everyone.

He then went on to state that because of this policy, kids are being coddled and eventually kill themselves due to rejection. Yup. He said that.

While teen suicide is a disturbing, rising trend in this country, I don’t agree that it is because children are being coddled. I think a major factor is growing up and constantly feeling belittled, left out, and different. Children deserve love, attention, and compassion.

I think back to my time in kindergarten and elementary school. I think as a young child, I would have been totally crushed if people deliberately didn’t give me cards. I know it sounds silly now, but growing up is hard. Valentines Day wasn’t about the commercialization of roses, passion, and romance. It was about having a day where everyone came together to celebrate candy, friendship, and each other.

It is disgusting that an individual thinks that it’s okay to leave certain children out.

Instead, this should provide a great lesson for teachers and parents to teach their kids. How would you feel if your envelope was empty? It all leads back to the Golden Rule- Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you. Treat others how you would want to be treated.

If you teach that at a young age, it will greatly benefit your children. I know that it is constantly being said in my mind when I see someone I perceive to be strange or weird. You just never know what battles another person is facing.

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True Life: I Am A TV Binge Watcher

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I watch a lot of TV. I wish I could say that it’s educational or enlightening, but most of the time it’s not. I’m a sucker for America’s Next Top Model. I anxiously await the new cast for each season of Dancing With The Stars. On weekends, I will watch Law & Order: SVU or Investigation Discovery all day. You get my drift.

My boyfriend thinks it’s all garbage. He prefers National Geographic, The Science Channel, Animal Planet… Snooze.

I like to be entertained. I don’t want something realistic because I’m in the real world every day.

Right around the time Netflix came out, I signed right up. Back then, it was a pretty great deal at $8 a month for unlimited streaming and DVD rentals. It was great for discovering new shows to watch and it has only gotten better, in that respect. But it’s a time-sucker!

True Life: I Am A TV Binge Watcher

My binge watching started off innocently enough. I started watching Glee during its second season, so I caught up on all the episodes of season one one weekend. Then I was hearing great things about Weeds, so I started watching that constantly. I am too ashamed to admit the amount of time I spent watching all 6 seasons on Netflix. Arrested Development came next, and then the new season that was a Netflix-exclusive was finished off in a day. I actually started rewatching it last weekend because I feel like I didn’t really absorb any of it during my binge-watching Saturday the first time around. What can I say!

The problem with all of this is that my boyfriend is the exact opposite. I tried to get him to watch Weeds, which he really liked, but he hated watching more than a couple episodes at a time. I gave up pretty easily with that. Same with Arrested Development. He can’t even sit through an entire episode of Law & Order. I am so envious of my friends that can watch tv all day with their boyfriends!

But I think I’ve managed to crack him. A couple weekends ago, we started watching Lost. Those episodes are 45 minutes long! On Wednesday, we both had a snow day and we watched a total of seven episodes!!!!! It was glorious. I have no idea how people watched this show when it was on TV. Waiting a week in between episodes – and months in between seasons! – must have been pretty difficult.

Here’s my problem though. I could have watched 14. It is soooo addicting. I just want to know what happens!

And then when it’s all over, the withdrawal and subsequent depression sinks in.

On to the next! On my list of shows to watch is Mad Men, Breaking Bad, Downton Abbey, and Orange is the New Black.

What are some of your favorites?

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Weekend Away

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After all, seasons change, so do cities; people come into your life and people  go. But it’s comforting to know that the ones you love are always in your heart.  And if you’re very lucky, a plane ride away.

This past weekend, my girlfriends and I headed up to Vermont to surprise our friend who moved up there after college. We had been planning this trip for a couple of months behind her back, with her thinking that only one of us was coming up.

For anyone who knows me, I spent two months like this:

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Holding surprises is overwhelming for me…

The drive up was lengthy, to put it politely. It took my friend and I five hours to get there. I’m pretty sure we breezed through 10 mix-cds I made in 2003. By the time we arrived at my friend’s apartment to meet up with the other two vehicles, my voice was completely shot. Five of us packed ourselves into a tiny car while another called our friend and told her to help her bring her stuff in.

The look on her face was priceless. I probably would have had the same reaction if my six best friends showed up to my apartment at midnight.

It was the first time we have all been together in over a year. We are all on such different schedules, several of us have moved away, and it just gets more and more difficult as you get older to find a time when everyone is free. I feel like all I ever do lately is hang out with boys.

I love my boyfriend, don’t get me wrong, but I miss my girlfriends! We have all been friends for 10+ years. So it was great to sit up late at night (my boyfriend’s bedtime is typically 10pm), drink champagne and wine, eat cookies, and talk about life. I cannot tell you the last time I have been able to do that!

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Panoramic shot of the evening

Each of us is finally starting to come into our own. It makes me teary-eyed to think of how well all my friends are doing! With so many ups and downs, it’s great to see everyone having more ups than downs lately.

This past weekend was just what I needed. =)

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Perfectionist

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I don’t often consider myself a perfectionist. I definitely did when I was younger, but I have since learned that some things just need to be let go.

However, I must confess that my perfectionism has reared its ugly head on this blog. I have found myself overly invested in the news – particularly random missing persons cases – and it is hard for me to find the “good”. As such, I have neglected writing Good News Mondays for quite some time. And I feel like I shouldn’t blog at all if I’m not at least doing that. Isn’t that ridiculous?

So here I am, back again. There’s only so much I can write about, but I have plenty of ideas in my mind. I have been feverishly writing down ideas on my iPad during my commute home each night.

Basically this entry is to say I will try to do better! I want to be able to look back on this blog years from now, and get a sense of who I was at 24. This is supposed to be an exciting time in my life, right?!

One thing I am greatly looking forward to is my upcoming trip to Playa del Carmen, Mexico. I have never in my life been anywhere tropical. My boyfriend has been talking about taking me on vacation for months and finally he said, just pick someplace and book it! So, after a great deal of research, that is what I chose. We plan on going fishing one day and exploring an ecopark and the Mayan ruins on another day, but apart from that, straight up relaxing! I’m sure I will have plenty to share when I get home.

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Novels by Liane Moriarty

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I started my job at the beginning of July in Boston. I have about an hour commute every day and I take the train. This has opened up a wonderful opportunity for me to start reading, as I didn’t feel like I had the time to do so before. Subsequently, my boyfriend’s mother bought me (and herself) an iPad Mini, which has totally transformed my life. I know that sounds dramatic, but seriously. It is a great tool to have on the train, while traveling, sitting on the beach… you name it.

My boss is a big reader, so we often discuss books we enjoy and how we come to find them. We both like to scour the cheaper and/or on-sale books to find hidden gems. It’s incredible how many books are written every day, now that there is the whole new way to present them to the world. “Self-publishing” has become a thing, In fact, Amazon just revealed that 25% of all books sold on the Kindle are what they call indie publishers. It’s pretty incredible.

Anyway, I came across a book on sale for $3.99 called The Husband’s Secret, by Liane Moriarty. I have to admit, my expectations weren’t too high at the time but after reading the reviews, it seemed like a great no-frills book. It was easy to read, the characters were all very well developed, and the plot was a page-turner. I fell in love and was so sad when the book ended. I get so emotionally invested in characters sometimes… I think I read the book in three days. I immediately jumped back into the iBooks and searched for her other novels. Each one had fantastic reviews. I was slightly giddy at this point. I could read this woman’s books all day every day, so I ordered another one right away called The Last Anniversary. OMG! I flew through this one as well for the very same reasons as the other one. To say I was obsessed is an understatement.

Her writing style is just what I needed. Each book sets out introducing a cast of characters, who’s lives all intersect in some way. Throughout each story, you begin to pick up connections and ultimately, a giant mystery is solved. With that being said, I wouldn’t categorize these novels in the “mystery” genre. They are just contemporary fiction. Really enjoyable fiction.

My next choice was What Alice Forgot, which has been my favorite of them all so far, and one that has left me speechless. I haven’t picked up another book yet since finishing this one earlier this week. I’m filled with all sorts of emotions.

The story revolves around a woman named Alice, who hits her head at the gym and when she comes to, she is 10 years older. She literally has no recollection of the last 10 years of her life. One second, she’s 29, brand-new homeowner with her brand-new husband, and a baby on the way. The perfect life. All of a sudden, she’s 39 with 3 children, and in the middle of a bitter divorce with a man she once loved. She has no idea why. With each page, she learns more and more about her forgotten life.

The reason this book resonated with me so much is that you can have the best intentions in life, you can think everything is perfect and always will be, but little things can get in the way. It really forces you to look at your life in a different perspective and to recognize with even the best intentions, things can go wrong. A simple argument over something petty can lead to future resentment. Family can drift apart due to the rush of life. Friendships can slowly start to deteroriate and cause you to burn bridges. Such little events could have grander consequences. I found myself asking the same questions as Alice. Why has her marriage gone so bad? Why is her oldest daughter so distant and rebellious? Why is she so distanced from her sister, who was her best friend growing up? And with each question, the answers are simple. It all started with a small change.

It really is true that communication is key to any lasting relationship. Once that begins to break down, it will slowly take its toll until it is too late. When it’s too late, you will have a hard time pinpointing the exact moment that any trouble began. It could be a number of things but the root of it all is communication. Somewhere along the way, there was a fight that wasn’t resolved, an insult that wasn’t apologized for. It is an eye-opening way to look at your life.

Alice does eventually get her memory back. She eventually learns the truths of what happened to form her into the person that she had become. 10 years of living caused her to turn from a free-spirit barely making ends meet to a rich, slightly vain woman who was too busy to reach out to her family. It was heartbreaking to read because it seems like a very common thing that happens.

I will read Three Wishes next, but I need a break first. I was so emotionally involved in this book that it was too difficult to think about or discuss once I finished it. I have had a few days to clear my mind and assess how I feel. It is one of my favorite books that I have ever read. It was raw, truthful, and frightening. It really forces you to take a hard look at your choices.

But isn’t that the best kind of book?

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Reflections on Life and Depression

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It’s that time of year again. The clocks have been put back, it is dark at 4pm, and the weather is getting colder by the day. When I say I hate this time of year, I truly mean it. Not only am I a child when it comes to the cold, I also struggle with Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD).

Like clockwork every year, Daylight Savings Time ends and I’m slumped into a deep depression. I don’t really understand it and for a few years, it really dragged me down. It was such a relief when I finally had a reason for what was happening to me. It really dragged me down in college.

One year, I fought with my boyfriend so much, really horrible fights, and I would just cry. Every day. I had no idea why and this really aggravated him. For someone on the outside looking in at mental illness, it doesn’t make any sense. I think the worst part for him was that he couldn’t fix it. He is a man, after all, and they say that they think of things in terms of problems and solutions. When there is no definitive problem, how can there be a solution? There were times I would stay over at his apartment and cry myself to sleep. I really had no clue what was going on.

The following year, I decided to get some help in the form of medication. It worked wonders. My mind was finally clear. I have been taking medication every winter since. This year, I have decided to be even more proactive in my health by eating better, sleeping well, and exercising a lot. I can’t even begin to tell you what a difference it makes. A few years ago, I was drowning in the darkness. I could barely get out of bed, and sometimes didn’t. It’s such a relief to not feel that way anymore. When November rolled around this year, I called up my doctor and immediately started up again with the medication. A month later, I am feeling great. Of course, the exercise and healthier diet is definitely helping. I am proud of myself for controlling it, instead of letting it control me. 

It feels great to be in control of my own life. I’m not saying that every day is rainbows and unicorns- far from it. I still have my moments. Last year, even though I was on medication, my job was sucking the life out of me. I would cry in the car on the way home every night. I feel that over the past year, I have really grown as a person and a woman from that experience. I know more of what I want out of life, and I’m not going to stand idly by waiting for it to come to me. As I’ve said before, I quit the job and it was one of the best decisions I have ever made.

For anyone that is feeling alone, sad, depressed… I have been there. And some days, I’m still there! Happiness is something that you just have to work at sometimes. It’s hard when you feel like you don’t have the energy to fight. But it gets better! It is seriously worth looking at all your options, even if do not want to take medication. Eating better is a great place to start. I am all about chocolate and junk food. Sugar is my vice. So, instead of that candy bar as a snack, I’ll eat some fruit. I still get my sugar =)

And if you are out of shape, like me, exercise seems daunting but I assure you, it’s not! Even if you just go for a walk on your lunch break- do it! I joined the gym at my work (and paid an arm and a leg for it for two months) but I find myself wanting to go every single day. I never thought I would be able to run. Walking up the stairs sometimes takes my breath away. But guess what!? I ran a mile at the gym today. A mile! It may not seem like that big of a deal, but I assure you that it is. And you know what? It felt good. If I can do it, anyone can. Seriously.

One last piece of advice (which will probably turn into its own blog post because I have so much to write about it!) is to try yoga. You can Google some great positions and start with the basics. This is my absolute favorite thing to do, and I will try my best to write a post in the next few days highlighting some of my favorite moves. The sense of calm that it gives you is indescribable. Working on your core is more of a workout than you think and the health benefits are out of this world!

Depression can (and does) affect just about anybody. It is important to recognize the signs in others, as well as yourself. At the end of the day, you are alone with you. Why not do everything in your power to love yourself enough to take action? I’m so happy that I did.

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Good News Monday

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Daily Mail has kind of become my guilty pleasure. I check it up to 5 times a day, depending on how busy I am at work. I am pretty addicted to Investigation Discovery, a channel dedicated to real-life murder shows, and Daily Mail delivers hundreds of similar stories to me a week! Sort of a weird obsession… Of course, there are other things on there that I enjoy reading. Yesterday, my boyfriend and I came across a video of a couple of guys holding their prized catches- mahi mahi. All of a sudden, a seal JUMPS out of the water and grabs one of the guys’ fish!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We watched it like 10 times, laughing harder each time. Clearly, I’m easily amused…

The point of this is that I came across an actual GOOD story on Daily Mail last week that I have been waiting for today to write about. I am a believer in karma, fate, and everything happening for a reason. I also believe in reincarnation which I’m told by some is foolish…. but anyway…

When Kyle Froelich was 19 years old, his kidneys essentially stopped functioning and he was in desperate need of a kidney transplant. With many friends and family offering kidneys to Kyle, he kept getting struck down as each one was not a match. Doctors believed he was in his last year of life.

On September 12, 2009, he attended a car show and that’s where he met Chelsea Clair, a 22-year-old friend of a friend, who was currently going through a divorce. This chance encounter led to a day of hanging out at the show and, when parting ways, an offer. Chelsea told Kyle she would donate her kidney. He took the offer casually- after all, each previous offer ended up as a dead end. She meant it though. She went and got some testing done to determine if her kidney would be a good fit. Turns out, the two were an “almost perfect match”!

Six months after meeting, the two friends drove to the hospital together to undergo the kidney transplant. Almost immediately, Kyle’s body accepted the new kidney transplant. While in recovery, the two had to be kept apart due to a risk of infection. This didn’t stop Kyle, who asked the nurses to wheel him past Chelsea’s room whenever they could, just so that he could wave hello. I can’t even handle how cute this is.

It wasn’t until after the transplant and subsequent recovery that the two realized this was more than a friendship, and the two began dating. ‘There’s a bond that no one else, unless they’ve  done it, can know. She’s my best friend,’ Kyle said.

Three years later, on October 12, 2013, the two tied the knot in what I’m sure was a very emotional and uplifting ceremony. The couple chose to replace the traditional vows of ‘in sickness and in health’ and, in its place said, “I offer you my hand, my heart and my soul, as I know they will be safe with you.”

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Photo found on Daily Mail

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Good News Monday

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In 2004, Carolyn Denson James made it her mission to track down her high school music teacher, Marty Hayes, and personally thank her. “She meant the world to me”, James told TODAY.com. “She made everyone feel special, that they brought something to the table.” It was for this reason that James decided to become a teacher.

When she finally tracked down her former teacher, the two became close again. James soon discovered that Hayes was driving on sidewalks, becoming disoriented and confused, and having a hard time with her day-to-day activities. After accompanying her on a trip to the doctor’s office, they learned Hayes was living with Lewy body dementia, the second most common form of dementia following Alzheimer’s.

At first, James and her husband helped Hayes out with a few bills and drove her to her increasing doctor’s appointments. Three years after reconnecting, Hayes moved in with James and her husband so that they could take better care of her. While her health has worsened, her spirit remains positive.

Carolyn James and Marty Hayes.

Photo from TODAY.com, provided by Carolyn James

She can no longer teach due to her condition, but she still believes in the power of music and the strong bond it helped her form with many of her students.

“She has no kids, her students are her kids,” James said. They have set up a fund to help pay for Hayes’ medical care, called We Are Her Kids. “The kids come back, you know, to see me,” Hayes said. “They’re like my family, so the music goes on.”

I find this story particularly heartwarming. While I searched for a great story to write about, I found several with “pay it forward” messages, which I love, of course. I am a strong believer in the phenomenon. Carolyn James took this a step further. What started out as a quest to track down a beloved teacher quickly became a much more powerful journey.

Teachers can really make all the difference to a struggling student. I formed some pretty strong bonds with a few of my teachers and I still think about them to this day. I often wonder what I would say if I came face to face with them again. While I didn’t grow up to become a teacher (a dream of mine when I was a child), I still value all the important lessons mine have taught me. My parents showered me with love. But there is something to be said for a teacher that recognizes you are having a bad day and does everything in their power to fix it. After having a fight with a friend of mine in high school- who tried to make it her mission to ruin my life- I was feeling pretty down and out. An English teacher noticed this all unfolding, and while she didn’t know the details, she saw that I was essentially being bullied. She wrote a note on one of my homework assignments- Illegitimi non carborundum. I remember her handing me back the assignment and she leaned down to whisper to me, “it means don’t let the bastards grind you down.” It was enough to know that she acknowledged that I was going through this, but that I was stronger than I seemed. It empowered me to stand up for myself, something I previously had trouble doing. I’m grateful beyond words for her kindness and encouragement.

That is just one of many stories I have. I am a firm believer that teachers are molding the minds of the future of this country and that they seldom get the credit they deserve. Over the course of their careers, they may teach thousands of students. What makes them all the more special is when those thousands of students can all say that that teacher made all the difference in their lives in school and beyond.

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How To Deal With Failure

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I am not used to being the stable one. I can be pretty emotional and definitely oversensitive. This isn’t necessarily a flaw in my eyes, but I have been learning to develop a tougher skin thanks to the “real world” and my boyfriend’s no-nonsense attitude. This attitude has been hard for me to accept at times because I just want someone to listen to me cry and complain. His homage, “that’s life”, stings a lot.

After a second time taking the test to become a Massachusetts Certified Arborist, my boyfriend failed by just THREE points. When I got the text from him yesterday, my heart sank for him. When he followed it up with another text, “I just want to cry”, I wanted to rush home from work and be there for him. But how? He studied much more this second time around, he learned all the Latin names for pretty much every tree in existence, and his confidence was much higher. How can I possibly make him feel better?

What I know is this- he is not a great test taker, never has been. His undiagnosed ADD can get pretty bad, which makes him stress out more than he needs to. I know he is incredibly smart. He knows more than probably half of the people who have their MCA. His friends that have their MCA ask him questions all the time about trees. He is the go-to guy for so many people in terms of trees and their health. He deserves this recognition. Instead, he has to watch as his coworkers- who went to school for anything from environmental studies to english (yes, english)- receive their MCAs because they are better studiers and test takers. Will they be able to apply this knowledge to everyday use? Most likely not. And that’s the part that hurts me the most because I know it hurts him the most.

I could see in his eyes how sad he was. It sucks to work so hard for something- especially something that is your future career path- only to fail. Luckily, being a certified arborist is not something he absolutely needs to get his dream job. He clearly has the skills and knowledge. I am obviously biased, but I don’t think having a piece of paper shows your true value. It’s ridiculous that this test is only offered every six months. His hard work feels like it was for nothing.

I gave up my movie date night last night for a quiet night in front of the television snuggling. He picked the restaurant we ate at and I tried to cheer him up as much as possible. If the roles were reversed, I’m not quite sure how he would have handled me. But I go with what I know, and I know what makes me feel better in times of failure and rejection. I like to have a low-key night, and I like to cuddle up in bed with my favorite person in the world and laugh at stupid things. I told him that I thought he was the smartest person I know and it’s one of the many reasons I love him. He has such an expansive knowledge of nature and science, one I have never and probably will never have. It’s shocking how well this compliment was received.

Sometimes we think so highly of others but never really tell them. I clearly think very highly of him but it’s not very often that I say it. A good compliment can really brighten a person’s day, especially when they are feeling so down about themselves.

When you fail, it can feel like your whole life is a joke. There are so many cliches to be said about this. But sometimes, cliches are exactly what you need to hear. When I was having a hard time my freshman year of college, I sent an email to my dad telling him how I was feeling. It was towards the end of the year and I had decided to start talking to someone at the school (which ended up being a great resource in my four years there). I remember my father’s response and it sticks with me to this day-

“Behind every cloud, the sun is still shining.”

And indeed, the sun is out and shining today. =)